I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
