once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
