Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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