I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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