In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
