Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize