I think my vagina is haunted
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Enjoy the penises
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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