she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
