at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's shark week go big or go home
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
