She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
