I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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