I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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