No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
