oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
