i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
