yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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