how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
