She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
