..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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