I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's the barista slut.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
