let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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