he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
