Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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