wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I want her autograph on my taint
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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