In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
