im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
