i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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