How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The air taste purple.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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