I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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