he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs