first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize