a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
