doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
