i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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