This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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