I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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