i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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