So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
