So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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