we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
