you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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