I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
