at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
