He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
