The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
