we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
