He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
