WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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