She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
