question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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