It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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