p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
