If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
