Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am midnight drunk by noon
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
