call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
