so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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