I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
