What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
