You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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