Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
