i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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