a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my shit smells like andre
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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