I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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