How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sext me about skeletons
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize